Oct 1, 2011

Sweet Saturday #17 Keys to a Happy Marriage: Communication

Maury and I have been married for 3 years, and I'm proud to say that we never had a major argument. Surely we fight over what channel to watch or what restaurant to dine in and other petty things like that but that's just about it. I have to say the art of talking and listening played a very big role in our relationship. 

One quick story:

Early in our marriage, Maury and I had a conversation before going to bed that turned out into a heated argument. I forgot what its all about but I'm sure it was something insignificant. I ended up not talking to him.

Maury was asking me whats wrong, I just shook my head and said "nothing", with all the shoving his hands off me gesture completed with my very cold look. Of course like most girls, when I say "nothing" it really means there's "something" going on.

After his so many attempts of asking me, he finally gave up. I got more furious when he did.

More over, when I heard him snore himself to sleep.Yep he was snoring and having a good time with Alice in the wonderland while I can't sleep, and was even crying out of irritation.

In the morning, Maury hugged and kissed me "good morning" acting as if nothing happened. Grrrrrrrrr... right?

Did I win the argument? NOPE. I think I was even at lost. And I look horrible the following morning with my puffy dark eyes. And not to mention the migraine that lasted the whole day. 

Lesson learned?
  • Be frank and straight forward.Say what you really want or feel and not the other way around. Because guys, takes girls literally and hates it when they have to guess what you really mean with what you're saying.

Through time and experience we've learned to find ways to express ourselves amidst our differences. All couples are not the same and what works for us might not work for others. Thankfully, we have no hard time expressing ourselves to each other. This is the way we do it:
  • We find time to hear each other's stories. And honestly, I love listening to my husband, he amuses me, especially because we are very opposite to each other, meaning he's experiences and some views in life is something new to me.
  • Accept each other's differences. I am the chatty person while he is the calm serious type. When he is mad, he wants to think first and talk about it when he is in a more sane mood. While I'm the "strike while the iron is hot" kind of person. So, when others say, don't sleep mad with each other doesn't work for us. We wait till we are ready to talk about the situation and amazingly it only takes us less than 30 minutes to compromise. The right timing is very important.
  • When one of us is at fault, we are humble enough to ask forgiveness and the other one is humble enough to forgive. Because let's face it, if we stay angry the whole day or week, tomorrow he will still be there living in the same house with you.
  • And if we criticize each other, we do it with extra cuteness and sweetness. "Can I kiss my stinky husband?" and he gets the hint to hit the shower, O diba? lol
  • Talking is not the only way we communicate. Sometimes, we let physical communication do the talking. While, I love hearing him say "i love you" it feels so much sweeter when he gives me kisses and hug out of nowhere.

Early on, we decided to have a happy marriage. And until now, we are still on that same page and taking the same road. Because we are a team. And that I think is the most important thing in marriage.

My first time to join Sweet Saturday, hope you guys have a wonderful day with hubby and kids :)


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Jona said...

you and your hubby are look-alikes :D
hay naku! tayo talagang mga babae, "nothing" means "something." i was like that before. i make my hubby guess about what's going on in my heart. i learned to be more straightforward with my hubby coz if not, he'll just IGNORE what's happening. actually he's totally clueless.
glad to hear that in your short married life so far, you have already learned a lot about communication.

thanks for joining Lalah and hope to know you more in the next topics of Sweet Saturday :D

raya said...

hi sis! thanks for visiting my entry on our family time at the park. I am visiting back.. :) and since I am here anyway, i read your SS entry. I would like to invite you to read my story at


Ronadelle said...

I love it! I have the same sentiment about "something means nothing" as entry too in Sweet Saturday! True, how can you kiss a stinky husband? Haha! Naku talaga, mga hubby nga naman but still we love them! ;)

Visiting from SS!
Followed you!

lina@women's perspectives said...

Agree with your thought!

Thanks for dropping by :)

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